Only ‘8 Weeks Till Doom’ and even though ‘Boys Don’t Knit’ I’m becoming a ‘Baseball Freak’?

I haven’t posted in a while… But really nowadays I don’t have much to say. Everything is just ‘you have to revise!’ and honestly it’s stressing me out. I wonder if I’ll be among those who panic the day before realising that, in fact, they didn’t do much revision. I keep putting everything off. I skipped my music resit and my teacher actually came to my maths lesson asking me why, I’m avoiding anything to do with English and may be developing a phobia of essays and I haven’t done any real revision for 3 weeks. (or maybe 2). I keep feeling like giving up. I’m not cut out for medicine anyway. As well as having the knowledge, you have to be a people’s person… which I am not and will never be. Plus I’m be up against millions of charismatic geniuses and quite frankly, I don’t think I stand a chance. I’m actually rethinking about this- my future career. It’ll still be science related- I hope. I can’t really do anything else. But I don’t think I could go into medicine. My worst science is biology and I prefer physics anyway. And my teachers say ‘do something you enjoy’ and my parents say ‘do something that will actually put bread on the table’

And right now I’m confused and tired and I’ve got this perpetual headache and fatigue and all of that.

Though, on a positive note, I have started reading more and am getting through books quite quickly. Since mid-february, I’ve read Will Grayson, Will Grayson, The fault in our stars (which really is as good as everyone has told me and I’m looking forward to the movie!), Why We Took The Car (also known as Tschick and was also originally in German) and Boys Don’t Knit (which I’m currently reading)

Boys Don’t Knit actually got me thinking about something that may sound a little weird.

Is it weird for a boy to knit? Yes. Why? Because they just don’t.

That’s not much of an explanation. So why is it so weird? Why is knitting strictly for girls? I wonder. In fact knitting, according to Boys Don’t Knit, was originally only for men. Isn’t it weird how it’s kind of turned around?

But it’s not fair that poor Ben and probably other secret male knitters (is that the right word?) can’t ‘come out of the knitting closet’. To be honest, a boy knitting is about as weird as a girl wearing trousers or playing football.

But imagine if it was all backwards. That would be really funny. Well, not really.

Good Lord! She’s wearing trousers! …Is she a lesbian or something?

But seriously, wearing trousers and playing sport or cutting your hair super short does not make you a lesbian. And knitting, or fashion or spas or beauty products or even wearing a skirt does not make you gay. Maybe metrosexual. Or a cross dresser.

And talking about sport, I’ve been constantly denying that I like sport but recently I’ve been coming to terms with the fact that not only do I like to play sports, I like to WATCH sports. For some reason, a couple of weeks (maybe a few months) ago, I bookmarked this anime called Big Windup and (surprise surprise) it was all about baseball. Completely. Normally I can’t stand having sport as a sub-genre of an anime but this was the main genre, other than comedy. No romance or action or adventure- just baseball. So one day I decided to watch the first episode. Luckily, it was all on YouTube. I loved the opening song so I decided to keep watch to see what happened. I had no idea what it was all about because I hadn’t looked at the plot beforehand like I normally do.

And then I felt something. Something I’d never felt before. And before I knew it I was googling how different pitches, how to hold them and how they travel. In fact, yesterday I watched a real game and I didn’t get distracted at all so that’s a good sign. I plan to learn everything about baseball, including the physics behind the game. Exciting!

And even more shocking- GASP!- I’ve finally accepted the fact that I do, indeed, like maths. I’ll never be the same again.

This is great. I’ve managed to actually write something out of nothing. And here I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to write anything. Yes, I know I am a genius. (I wish!)

I probably won’t write for a while because of exams (but I could surprise myself) so try and bear without hearing (reading) my wonderful words of wisdom. But on Friday 13th of June, I’m a free girl! (you know, after my maths exam, that is…)

I will try and post before that time but don’t expect anything in April. That’s when it gets serious.

~EpicCupcake signing out.

I Don’t Want To Grow Up!

Hello!

I am so sorry that I haven’t actually made a written post like this in a while. It’s the same excuse- homework, revision, procrastination… But to be honest, I sort of lost it yesterday.

Finally part of the full stress of GCSE has hit me and my mock exams are in two weeks, starting with my spanish orals. How lucky am I? Yesterday I blew off work completely, after my calculator starting acting up, and went all out relaxing… until reality came rushing back after my shockwave flash crashed 2nd time in a row while I was playing poptropica. And before you say anything, I am not too old to play poptropica! Just as I’m not too old to watch Spongebob Squarepants (though I haven’t watched it these last few months…). And besides, poptropica has these new sound effects and a new island called Virus Hunter or something so I was basically revising biology.

I was worried when it crashed for the second because I was pretty annoyed, and I knew how pissed off I could get if I lose repeatedly in poptropica, so I decided to close it down, get some books and start my revision again. But, of course, I distracted myself with something I like to call ‘manga surfing’ which doesn’t involve using a manga as a surf board (I just kidding you; you knew that already 😉 ), but actually involves looking up manga and I found this one about cooking and-

Let’s stay on the topic.

So anyways, I was manga surfing and watching TV so it took me even longer to work than it normally does and I was hardly paying attention to my work and just felt like slacking off again.

But then the TV spoke to me.

I was watching Popgirl because there was nothing good on and ‘Life With Derek’ came on. In the episode it looked like some super important exam was coming up and Casey (or however you spell her name) was doing full on non-stop revision and Derek was procrastinating. (Sounds familiar…) Then Derek had a vision or a premonition of what his life would be like if he did badly on the exams.I didn’t actually get it, but I could tell it was bad.

So then I panicked a little and when I panic, I procrastinate and I continued to read manga whilst pretending to do a maths paper.

That night, I stayed up till about 1 or 2 am reading ‘Crescendo’, the second book of ‘Hush Hush’ to avoid sleeping, waking up and going to school, and when I finally put the book, I started obsessing over a question in the maths paper. It was probably easy and I already put an answer, but I couldn’t stop thinking about it. This morning I woke up (late) and not long after 20 minutes or so, I burst into tears. Thinking of exams, revision, homework and time  management- it was all too much!

My mum heard me crying and talked to me and she helped me make some changes to manage my time better and keep focused on my work. One of those changes was to go to the library after school which I didn’t do because I hadn’t told anyone and I didn’t bring my normal revision stuff. My dad made my mood worse though, and when he heard about what I was crying about, he blamed it all on me saying that I have time for manga “and other rubbish” but not for my studies and I went to school feeling as I normally did on Monday mornings- angry… pathetic…

But then after crying a bit more and getting advice from people at school, I ended up coming home with a half grin on my face (not full. I’d never grin in public on my own) whilst thinking about my brother and his kicking. He opens door now, by the way, so I have to be always on guard. But, long story short, I cool with my dad now, I’ve de-cluttered my room and, in the process, part of my brain so I think I’m ready to start serious revision! But maybe I’ll also clean my locker- that’s a whole other story…

*Sigh…* Sometimes I wish I’ll stay a kid forever or at least be whisked away to some fictional land, where they don’t have GCSEs, on a magical adventure filled with hard-core action with swords and everything and a beautiful romance with a happily ever after.

I need to get my head out of the clouds.

As for my challenge, I think I’ve earned a good 7 points already. 5 for getting off my lazy bottom to buy a present for Cloud’s birthday (In case you’re wondering, I got her a necklace). It was the first time I’d ever gone out to a shopping center by myself on weekday and boy was it nerve-wrecking! I splashed on some subtle make to camouflage myself- I had to ‘blend in’, and quickly went around the shops in search of a gift. Let me tell you, going shopping on your own isn’t fun, especially when you get cornered by random people from Green Peace or guys trying to sell their album and make their name in the world. I was forced to talk to that guy for a good few minutes before I could escape.

The other two points were for greeting people in my church choir (which I recently joined) even though I felt like punching myself instead. They’re nice people who don’t laugh at me when I drop all my little sheet on the floor every week, but it’s just hard not to be nervous, especially when you’re me…

That’s going to be my main challenge of the week- greeting people. I’ll make a little counter thingy to take note of my points. That’s 7 so far! Not much, but a good start!

I’ll finish this post here, but maybe next time I’ll talk about my friend Phoenix because I find her really interesting. Or maybe I talk about something completely different. Well, you’ll just have to find out next time.

Again, sorry for the late post. Don’t be surprised if I don’t write a post again till the weekend, but I’ll try to post something before then. If I don’t… then I’ll give you a muffin. Is chocolate okay? 😉 Till next time.

~EpicCupcake signing out.