Sorry, I’m not in a good mood so this post is gonna be a little morose.
So now I know what heartbreak feels like.
It’s not nice.
God, it’s making me feel so empty and hollow.
Today I just found out that Phoenix is actually going out with someone. For four months now.
When I initially heard, I was with my friends cause one of my friends was telling me, because she had forgotten that I had a crush on her.
I kept my cool. I didn’t burst into tears. My friends were all like ‘Are you alright?’ and I was like ‘Oh well, I knew she didn’t like me in the first place so there’s no need to be miserable about it.’. And that really surprised me because soon after, I walked off to my maths lesson and kept my head on the table the whole time while I cried silently.
This went on for the rest of the day. Me being miserable. In my bio lesson I tried to cheer up a bit, and I did, but literally after that I really couldn’t hold it in for much longer.
I pasted Phoneix on the way out of college. She said hi. I had to say hi back despite the fact I dashed out of my lesson to avoid seeing her (you know, so I wouldn’t burst into tears right there on the spot). It was even worse when I played my music like I normally do to and from college and it started playing ‘Happy Together’. A song that would remind me of her. That really didn’t help things.
I managed to hold most of it in till I got home and it literally just all burst out and I was crying and crying and my music was playing and then I was crying and singing and wailing and feeling bad for the neighbours and… gosh…
I guess it’s my fault for falling so deeply for her. I was practically in love with her. I really was. And even though I’m trying to resolve to move on, I know part of me wont let me. No, not part of me- all of me. I know it’s unhealthy to have these lingering feelings but I just can’t help it! It’s her fault for being so perfect and awesome and beautiful.
Aaaaaaaaahhhh moooouuuuu… I don’t feel like crying anymore. I have to watch some anime or something…
Happy Friday the 13, everyone… This is just my luck.
~EpicCupcake, signing out.