I haven’t posted in a while… But really nowadays I don’t have much to say. Everything is just ‘you have to revise!’ and honestly it’s stressing me out. I wonder if I’ll be among those who panic the day before realising that, in fact, they didn’t do much revision. I keep putting everything off. I skipped my music resit and my teacher actually came to my maths lesson asking me why, I’m avoiding anything to do with English and may be developing a phobia of essays and I haven’t done any real revision for 3 weeks. (or maybe 2). I keep feeling like giving up. I’m not cut out for medicine anyway. As well as having the knowledge, you have to be a people’s person… which I am not and will never be. Plus I’m be up against millions of charismatic geniuses and quite frankly, I don’t think I stand a chance. I’m actually rethinking about this- my future career. It’ll still be science related- I hope. I can’t really do anything else. But I don’t think I could go into medicine. My worst science is biology and I prefer physics anyway. And my teachers say ‘do something you enjoy’ and my parents say ‘do something that will actually put bread on the table’
And right now I’m confused and tired and I’ve got this perpetual headache and fatigue and all of that.
Though, on a positive note, I have started reading more and am getting through books quite quickly. Since mid-february, I’ve read Will Grayson, Will Grayson, The fault in our stars (which really is as good as everyone has told me and I’m looking forward to the movie!), Why We Took The Car (also known as Tschick and was also originally in German) and Boys Don’t Knit (which I’m currently reading)
Boys Don’t Knit actually got me thinking about something that may sound a little weird.
Is it weird for a boy to knit? Yes. Why? Because they just don’t.
That’s not much of an explanation. So why is it so weird? Why is knitting strictly for girls? I wonder. In fact knitting, according to Boys Don’t Knit, was originally only for men. Isn’t it weird how it’s kind of turned around?
But it’s not fair that poor Ben and probably other secret male knitters (is that the right word?) can’t ‘come out of the knitting closet’. To be honest, a boy knitting is about as weird as a girl wearing trousers or playing football.
But imagine if it was all backwards. That would be really funny. Well, not really.
Good Lord! She’s wearing trousers! …Is she a lesbian or something?
But seriously, wearing trousers and playing sport or cutting your hair super short does not make you a lesbian. And knitting, or fashion or spas or beauty products or even wearing a skirt does not make you gay. Maybe metrosexual. Or a cross dresser.
And talking about sport, I’ve been constantly denying that I like sport but recently I’ve been coming to terms with the fact that not only do I like to play sports, I like to WATCH sports. For some reason, a couple of weeks (maybe a few months) ago, I bookmarked this anime called Big Windup and (surprise surprise) it was all about baseball. Completely. Normally I can’t stand having sport as a sub-genre of an anime but this was the main genre, other than comedy. No romance or action or adventure- just baseball. So one day I decided to watch the first episode. Luckily, it was all on YouTube. I loved the opening song so I decided to keep watch to see what happened. I had no idea what it was all about because I hadn’t looked at the plot beforehand like I normally do.
And then I felt something. Something I’d never felt before. And before I knew it I was googling how different pitches, how to hold them and how they travel. In fact, yesterday I watched a real game and I didn’t get distracted at all so that’s a good sign. I plan to learn everything about baseball, including the physics behind the game. Exciting!
And even more shocking- GASP!- I’ve finally accepted the fact that I do, indeed, like maths. I’ll never be the same again.
This is great. I’ve managed to actually write something out of nothing. And here I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to write anything. Yes, I know I am a genius. (I wish!)
I probably won’t write for a while because of exams (but I could surprise myself) so try and bear without hearing (reading) my wonderful words of wisdom. But on Friday 13th of June, I’m a free girl! (you know, after my maths exam, that is…)
I will try and post before that time but don’t expect anything in April. That’s when it gets serious.
~EpicCupcake signing out.