I’ve been thinking about something lately, and it just popped into my head a few moments ago when I was sending a story off to Cinnamon (via email) for her to read (but mostly check). Back in primary school, expressing my emotions was never a problem for me. If you made me mad, you’d know it straight away. Back then, emails were pretty popular in my school and we’d spend ages online chatting to friends by email (who knows why we never used MSN or something. Thinking back, it kind of seems stupid…) Of course, now with BBM, What’s App etc. emails are almost a thing of the past. I’m pretty sure the people in my year only use their emails for facebook and sending files. If that’s not the case, well then… I guess it’s just me.
I’ve been writing since I was in primary school, but it only became serious when I started high school. I began to realise that I was able to express myself well in my writing, so I wrote a lot since I wasn’t able to express myself in school. Writing always reveals this other side of me. It reveals this girl who seems to have a lot to say. A girl who loves to amuse her readers by casually slipping puns her and there. A girl with a lot of ideas who radiates them confidently.
A girl who seems foreign to me.
I’m sure if I showed someone my writing, someone who doesn’t know me that well (that would be
almost all most of the people in my year) they’d be pretty surprised with what they found. That’s why, when I was writing a quick message in that email, I wasn’t sure how to word it.
I quite private, you know. I try and show certain people certain personalities. Right now I’m showing you my ‘default’ personality. My ‘normal’ personality, if that makes sense. I’m being pretty open. But showing different personalities to different people, doesn’t it seem kind of fake? I’d love to have one personality that I’d be free to share with everybody, even if it made people hate me. I just want to be myself. But are those personalities me?
Let me run through some of my ‘alter egos’
First off, there’s default. Default is my most comfortable personality. I write using default so that’s probably why I don’t like other’s reading my work. Default isn’t very girly, she’s very analytical and loves jokes. She’s the personality I express on my blog. She likes to use
big complex words to make her sound smart.
Then there’s ‘sarcastic’. She’s very sarcastic, a teeny bit sadistic and gets annoyed easily. I only seemed to show her around Grace when we were friends. I sometimes show her to other people like my sister and family friends that have annoyed me in the past… And a certain person who I will hopefully never mention here. (Don’t even ask because I won’t answer). She has a relatively low pitched voice. Her character makes me laugh.
Next it’s ‘hyper’. Hyper loves to annoy people, talk about anime etc and smile! She’s like Marmite- you either love her or hate her. Her voice has a higher pitch that default.
Then there’s ‘innocent’. She’s quiet and helpful and acts oblivious to some things. She’s shy and respectful and thinks she’s cute. And she tries to act cute… I don’t like her that much.
‘Normal’ is different to default. She’s what most people would expect in a normal human being. I won’t say much about her.
Finally there’s ‘aloof’. She prefers to stay silent and observes her surrounding. I like her because she seems kind of cool… in a way… She has a way of staring at a person so that her eyes penetrate deep into their soul, unlocking hidden secrets-!
Just being a little too poetic here!
I feel like I’ve revealed too much. Gosh, I feel kind of naked! But there it is. That’s how I feel. I used at least all of these personalities in school with the exception of default and now sarcastic. I’m not so close to Grace now so sarcastic doesn’t want to come out. Hahaha! I sound so weird! Why am I even typing ‘Hahaha!’ when I’m not even laughing?! I’m smiling now, but before I had a straight face.
Oh, gosh, I’m so messed up!
~EpicCupcake signingng ~EpicCuc
(Let’s try this again)
~EpicCupcake signing out.