Because school has started

If you have mathematical anxiety, or just hate the subject, I’m sorry about this video. However, do not blame me- blame school. School made me do it.

Dear Diary: First Day of School

Haha, oh Spongebob… *sighs*

School has officially commenced!

Surprisingly enough, my first day of school went great! Grace was back and so were my other friends so I wasn’t alone most of the time. I still have the same subjects so it’s obvious that I’d be in most of the same classes but I’ve still moved a few and have new teachers… Haven’t met any of them yet… That’ll be tomorrow.

It was mostly a normal day apart from the fact that I came in at 7:30 for reasons I can’t be bothered to explain because I’ve already got homework, my teachers keep going on and on about revision and I’m quite tired. Anyway- back to the topic- I was surprised at my mood today at school. Normally, at least during one point of the day, I’ll be upset or angry in some way. Always… almost always… But today I was just happy overall so it looks like I may be able to achieve my goals that I set a few posts ago.

Still, I’m not talking that much in school and I’m still the quiet girl in the corner of the room, unless I’m with Grace, that is. It’s funny how friends bring out a different side of you. I was mostly silent in my maths class, only daring twice to ask the person next to me how to do a certain question. I stupidly came late and there were hardly any seats left so I had to sit with people that I find it really really really difficult to talk to. I’m pretty sure there were many chances I could join in with the conversation but I was too scared to. I guess social anxiety is a lot harder to beat even if you’re all positive and happy…

Still, that didn’t ruin my mood. I got to sit in the special year 11 canteen today and although it’s really cramped (no different than the other canteen) it was a nicer, more pleasant experience because seriously, if I hear ‘happy birthday to you’ one more time, I swear- I WILL explode. (figuratively, of course 😉 )

And as for my default pissed off face, I think it’ll be a while before I’ll see it again.

I wonder what actually caused my general good mood? Was it the fact that I’ve been taking really good care of my skin lately? Was it because I did my hair? Was it because I’ve been drinking water every chance I get? Was it because I planted good thoughts in my mind. Was it because I viewed everything uncomfortable that happened as a chance for a challenge? Or was it because I did some yoga the day before? (Yeah, I did yoga. In my cramped room, of course; I was too nervous to let anyone else see) Maybe it’s a combination. If it was a combination, then let me give you some advice:

  1. Be determined to change.
  2. Take care of yourself (health, body and fitness)
  3. View everything as a challenge (believe me, that stopped me from crying)
  4. Plant good thoughts in your head.

On my phone (I have a crappy blackberry) this is the message I have on my locked screen

You are kind, fun and very important. Don’t forget that 😉

Smile and think positively

And in the background, it has this:

‘couldn’t you earn money doing this?’

Okay, showing you that wasn’t necessary.

In conclusion! I believe that I will not be catching ‘school fever’ anytime soon. Maybe when mock exams begin (month’s time)

well, until next time!

~EpicCupcake signing out.


If I could show emotion

If I could show emotion

If I could show emotion, this is probably what I’d look like…

(Yes, I do wear glasses… sometimes…)
(No, I am not a member of the male species)
(No, I do not have purple eyes)
(No, I did not draw this- have you seen my manga?)



Personality Test

As you probably already know, I’m kind of a confused person and even though I analyse myself and my actions, I can’t really describe what kind of person I am (Y’know, apart from lazy and an otaku…) That’s why I took this personality test at and this is what I got

You’re a Seeker

You’re kind and courteous and a great support to your friends. You have a wonderfully warm energy which is an inspiration to others.

A sensitive soul with an expressive nature, you tend to be a romantic at heart. Sometimes you love nothing more than escaping into your very own dreamworld. Spontaneous new experiences can be inspiring to you, and you like exploring your creative side from time to time.

Do you think that matches my personality?

Normal FaceHaha. Don’t answer that question…

Anyways, why don’t you give it a try? It’s fun. You get to click on pictures… Link’s right up there…

Have fun.

~EpicCupcake signing out.



Social Anxiety: Hasn’t even been 24 hours

Damn it… It hasn’t even been 24 hours since I posted it’s coming IT’S COMING and wrote all that stuff about being determined, but now I feel like… urghh… Why is it that I can switch from happy and determined to depressed and worn out just like that? It looks like the so-called school fever has struck me again as I’m now plagued by strange chest pains that don’t feel real, yet they’re there, I keep sighing deeply for no reason, I have that all-too-familiar headache and I’ve had weird thoughts about sleeping, fainting and falling down the stairs. And I’ve also been crying randomly for no reason. Geez Louise, why am I so weird???

The worst part of it is that I can’t really remember why I’m feeling like this. I started having some negative thoughts but at the time, they didn’t bother me much. No, I was too occupied listening to ‘odoru aka-chan ningen’…

I’m sorry you have to read such a depression post. I myself don’t like writing depressing things, but I feel I have to get this out of my system and since I can’t open my mouth at the moment, typing it is my only option. Plus, I don’t feel like telling anyone how I feel. It’s not like anyone around me truly understands. I’m not in the mood to be called a fool for thinking the way I do.

I don’t like all this negative stuff.

How about seeing something nice for once?

Okay… now I feel better… No more self pity today. I am determined to at least last 24 hours without feeling bad about whatever…

~EpicCupcake signing out.