So far I haven’t written anything about personality disorders… oh well…
Negative thinking- one of the many evils in the world (right next to procrastination)
Negative thinking is often a result of depression or anxiety (or both) and it can cause some serious problems.
Here’s an example:
In a certain class at school, I came in and sat in my seat. As soon as I sat down the girl sitting next to me asked the teacher if she could move to the other side of the room. All of a sudden I hated that girl and everything about her and only wished for her to trip on her way to her new seat. Them I start to remember all the bad things that had ever happened to and I blame the world:
“I hate everyone!”
“Nobody cares about me!”
It’s not my fault! It’s everyone’s fault for not accepting me!”
And then, all of a sudden, a switch flicks inside me and suddenly I’m blaming myself for everything coming up with stupid reasons:
“It’s all my fault!”
“I’m a horrible person; that’s why no one likes me.”
“Why am I like this?”
And these thoughts fuel my depression even more and I have more negative thoughts. It’s a vicious circle…
I’m pretty sure depression and negative thinking can have physical effects on you and I’m pretty sure they were the cause of my mysterious migraines and the haunting feeling that I was going to throw up. I always had feelings of helplessness, emptiness and sometimes I’d wake up in the morning perfectly fine, but by the time I got to school, I would find it hard to talk so I’d avoid people and then that familiar lonely feeling would haunt me yet again… Another thing would getting tearful over small stuff for example when I left the house for a moment and returned to find my laptop off. I cried so much about that while I was thinking ‘why the heck am I crying?’ at the same time. Everything made me either upset or angry. Seeing someone on the bus was enough to make me agitated angry and upset. And yet another thing: during my recent long depressive state, I formed a bad habit of reading (yaoi) manga or watch (yaoi) OVAs every night until midnight, before I could fall asleep. I would always feel really tired and almost fall asleep in class because of it, but I couldn’t help it because if I didn’t, negative thoughts would take over my mind and I wouldn’t be able to sleep. (and though I hate to admit it, it was so addictive…)
But although my depressive states only made my life look like joke, depression can have much more serious effects such as self-harm and suicidal behaviour. It can make you feel so insignificant or so depressed that life isn’t worth living. I’ve never really felt the need to self-harm or even think about suicide (thank God), so I can’t say much about it but if you think you’re suicidal (or someone else) you should probably tell someone and check out this website. Sorry I can’t be of much help…
But you get my point- negative thinking=very bad. I’ve been doing a little research and have found ways to fight against the compulsive thoughts:
- De-stress. I always get upset when I’m stressed.
- Make a list of five things that are good about yourself (it can be in your head if you’re lazy like me)
- Arrange a day out with a friend. (I tend to generate negative thoughts when I’m alone)
- Sing. (I got this one from the internet. But it’s true- singing does make you feel better)
- Watch some random YouTube video or an E4 show (How I met your mother always makes me laugh)
- Tease your baby brother/sister (if you have one, that is.) but don’t do this:
- Avoid triggers of negative thoughts.
- Write down the things going around in your head. Again, I got this one from the internet. It’ll help you clear your head and help you see your negative thoughts for what they are which makes it easier to move on from them.
Can’t think of anything else…
Oh, yes, I’ll finish this post on this note: If you know someone with social anxiety or depression etc., make sure they know that you are there for them and reassure them that they are wonderful (’cause they are!). Talk to them; let them know they are special, unique, important and- most importantly- let them know they are loved and that you’ll be seriously pissed off it they hurt him/herself in any way.
I’m gonna stop blabbing now… but one last thing!
~EpicCupcake signing out.